AI & EI: The Heart of Modern Leadership Part 3

Using emotional intelligence to lead, sell, and serve in the age of AI

Self-Management: The Art of the Pause

Here’s the reality: You can’t automate composure.

A Thought to Start:

Have you ever hit “send” too quickly and wished you could pull the message back? We’ve all been there and in our Fairway speed world, “recall this message” doesn’t always work. It’s easy to get into a pattern of thinking that says speed always wins. At Fairway, “Speed to Respond” is one of our core values, and for good reason. It shows care, urgency, and commitment. But self-management reminds us that speed without composure can create confusion instead of clarity, and reaction instead of response. As we expand on last week, we need to remember that sometimes the most professional thing we can do is pause, take a breath, and lead with intention vs. pure reaction.

Key Concepts:

Self-management is where awareness becomes action.
Self-awareness tells you what’s going on inside; self-management is what you do with it. It’s the ability to stay steady when emotions run high, pressure mounts, or challenges pop up. To be clear, it’s not about ignoring emotions or trying to make them go away. It’s about noticing and regulating them so they serve your purpose instead of steering it.
The pause protects the purpose.
That small pause between feeling and responding is the space where leadership happens. When you take a moment to breathe before replying to an email, giving feedback, or handling a tough conversation, you protect both your message and your relationships. A quick pause helps ensure that what you say creates understanding, not misunderstanding.
Humility is strength under control.
At Fairway, “Humility First” reminds us that leadership isn’t about being right, it’s about doing what’s right. Self-management means choosing to listen, ask questions, and admit when we need help or time to think. It takes humility to say, “Let me consider that and get back to you.” But that humility builds trust, steadiness, and respect.
AI can model calm if you teach it how.
When using AI tools for communication, tone and pacing matter. Ask your AI assistant to write with warmth, empathy, or professionalism, not just efficiency. Use it to help you stay composed when emotions are running hot. The more intentional your prompts, the more emotionally aware your output will be.
Creating an amazing experience starts with managing ourselves.
Whether it’s a client or partner call, an internal message, or a coaching conversation, people remember how we made them feel more than what we said. Self-management ensures that our tone, timing, and presence make every interaction a little more thoughtful, calm, and kind.

Call to Action:
This week, focus on your “pause moments.” Before responding to something emotional or urgent, take one deep breath, count to three, and ask yourself: Will my response create the experience I want this person to have? If the answer is no, adjust before you act. That pause could be the difference between reaction and leadership.

Want to read or learn more?
• Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
• Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0
• Harvard Business Review, “How Leaders Can Manage Their Emotions Under Pressure”

Coming Next Week:
Social Awareness: Reading the room (and the person) in a digital world.